Accept my emo-rage

As I type this, it is exactly four hours and forty-seven minutes until I am 25 . . . mid twenties . . . quarter of a century . . . . . . . . . I wish I was dead  . . . not like I have a considerable amount of time to wait if Logan's Run is to be believed.  I think it is fair to say that Logan's Run is the undisputed best sci-fi film, followed by Flash Gordon, and then Star Trek: First Contact.

And so, to Star Wars fanatics everywhere, I state;

I must confess that I do find it worrying at how little time seems to affect me.  See the picture below; on the left is me as a fresh-faced seventeen year-old partaking in under-age merriment at Chandlers Bar all the way back in 2004.  On the right, me in November 2011, aged 24 and three-quarts.

My parting has switched sides . . . that is all.

The lack of aging process, my apparent 'ludicrously' pale face, the fact that I spend most of the day asleep and that sunlight puts me in one terribly foul mood makes me consider whether or not I am some form of vampire . . . but alas, if I was, it is quite unlikely for a vegetarian vampire to last twenty-four years, three-hundred-and-sixty-five days and nineteen hours.  I shall have to muse on this some more.

Well, I suppose the consolation is that I can look back on February 2012, my final month of being 'early-twenties', with a great deal of fondness (it's almost strange how I can hear Adam shouting 'GAY!' at this point).  It started off with definitely the best gig I have been to, seeing the blues-rock duo - and John on the keyboards, lest we forget - the Black Keys.  There was some reason which I can't quite remember that it made more sense to stay in Chesterfield for the eve, so I took my stuff to my dear sister's house, got changed, picked up my phone, camera, keys, wallet, and headed out to meet Adam at the station . . . within walking distance of said station, I had the awkward moment of realising my ticket was in my bag at my sisters house.

Y'know it's bad when someone often referred to as 'Number One'
thinks you are a failure . . . 

Still, "alls well that ends well", as the popular saying goes, and whilst I had to endure Adam shaking his fist and hoarsely muttering 'dead' at me with a worrying lack of blinking for the train journey, he ended up thanking me for the delay as it meant we didn't have to tolerate the Band of Skulls for as long.  Indeed, my awkward moment of confessing the reason why I was delayed was in no way comparable to the sense of shame Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney caused - nay, committed! - when they returned to do an encore of 'I Got Mine' attired in Robin Hood hats (as the gig was in Nottingham).  The reaction of Adam and myself was something as follows.

Errr, Adam, your hair is a 'mare to do on Paint >.<

It's been very rare of late when I am not blessed with the company of my girlfriend/arch-nemesis Melissa nowadays.  In fact, it's becoming evident that we spend too much time together; mainly because she comes out with far superior "thats what she said" jokes than I do and I am particularly bitter about this.  Still, I'm not grumbling about the amount of time we spend together - far from it, in all honesty - because it means I get to witness first-hand some of the absolutely brilliant quotes she comes out with.  My ultimate favourite 'The Menzzz Moment' is tied between these two crackers.

1) "Y'know on the train to Loughborough . . . we go passed those big towers that give out a lot of steam.  Well, I thought they were cloud generators".

2) After googling animal facts. "A crocodiles tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth? B-but . . . but how does it talk?"

justwow.jpeg

Along with many of the other awkward moments mentioned in this post, the most 'O_O' experience came on Valentine's Day, when Melissa and myself gave each other . . . the exact same card. Now like most couples, we were up late on the eve of Valentine's Day.  Unlike most couples, we were eating pot noodles and playing a food-making game on an iPod that was clearly rigged . . . because I lost . . . and how.

On the subject of Valentine's Day, being the kind and compassionate soul I am, I thought I'd think about two close friends who are single on this day and wish them both a happy Valentine's Day.  The replies?

Gareth: "Get bent!"
Adam: "DEAD"

Sometimes, I don't know why I bother.

Hmmm . . . I think I am just about out of enthusiasm, so I shall depart by asking you a question which has long troubled me.

Can zombies swim?

Until next time, where I shall be covering the topic of 'ethnic banter'

I bid you adieu.