Chicks dig green gummy bears - FACT

I've been to Scunthorpe, but I've never been to Southampton.  Oh Tinie Tempah, you and I live very different lives.

Firstly, after going back through this, I seem to have overdone the pictures a wee bit, but as that famous prophet Jojo once said (she is basically my Welsh equivalent of Rafiki) "include pictures. Blogs should have lots of pictures," so I'm not disobeying her.

Since my last post there have been two bits of big news.  Firstly - and by far the less surprising - is that I am moving house . . . again . . . for the second time in 2012.

And Gareth just thinks I dress like a homeless person . . .

Yup, I'm heading back to Derby, where I lived as a student for three years.  Not only do I know the place fairly well, but there is also a place which does £10 piercings . . . and it is pretty much central to everywhere I go nowadays (it's not just for the £10 piercings, honestly mother!)



. . . actually, it's not even remotely central . . . oh well, £10 piercings!



However, this news is rendered even more mundane by the scale of the second piece of news . . . I have encountered a female that is capable of not only tolerating, but moderately enjoying my company!



. . . sort of hurts when a captain of a not-yet built Starship from a
not-yet born generation is surprised by this turn of events.


Yush, I managed to woo her in the most unconventional of ways, but allow me to explain using pictorial evidence and print screens.  When we first became friends, she had the following as her status;

  

O rly?

Challenge = accepted.

 

 

Now true, it wasn't our first date.  The first date we had we struggled to comprehend what a protest 20 yards away was actually about and studied an ill pigeon, and on the second we watched a gentleman getting . . . implements kicked into him (well, it was on a Sunday in Nottingham, what can you expect?) so it was in fact the third date in which I got to Nottingham an hour and a half early and went scouring the city for a sweet shop, and eventually found one.  After spending fifteen minutes cursing to fending off non-green gummy bears, I exhausted the supply of those specified in Melissa's Terms and Conditions. 

I offered an apology to the shop-owner who flashed a quirked eyebrow at the contents of my bag.  

"Are the green ones the best then?" she quizzed.

"Apparently so . . . it's sort of a romantic qesture . . . or meant to be anyway," I replied, only to be greeted with silence.

Alas, it turned out to be worth it, because at 13:37 on Janaury 23rd 2012, underneath the clocktower in Nottingham's marketplace surrounded by ill pigeons, Melissa said she would be my girlfriend. 

How do you like them apples, Jean-Luc Picard?

Oh!  He does seem to like 'them apples' quite considerably.

However, I can imagine my friends - who I am visiting tomorrow - will no doubt have several jokes lined up about me asking a young lady to be my girlfriend with the use of sweets . . . especially considering I am twenty-five next month and Melissa is eighteen . . .



Damnit Picard!  Why are you even here anyway? Who invited you? I don't need to take this from you.  Technically speaking, I am older than you (which probably doesn't aid my side of this squabble about being in a relationship with a younger lady) but if I recall, in Star Trek: Insurrection you were getting all schmoozy with that flip-skirt who you later figured out was over 800 years old. Amirite?

Michael Silk - 1

Jean-Luc Picard - 0

Yes, it must be said that, whenever I am happy, my friends turn into comedy geniuses, so I am sure there will be plenty more contenders for the "Top Five Insults I Have Ever Received (it was the Top Ten, but with Facebook Timeline it seems to have lost some of my old statuses - oh the irony!)

1) Richard Griffin (on the sore subject of my lack of facial hair) - "It's alright Michael.  Soon, your body will go through a lot of changes; your voice will get deeper, and you will have hair where you didn't before.  It's all perfectly natural . . . well, it's not that natural at the age of 21." (nearly four years later the same still applies)

2) Grace Cunningham - "Oh you are so far in the closet you are technically in Narnia."

3) Luke Fisher - "Ancient civilisations have risen and then fallen in the time it takes you to type a sentence."

4) Adam "groovy internet name" Turner - "Everything would just make so much more sense if you were gay."

5) Poppy Sims - "If you had a different voice, different face and a different personality, you would be just perfect."

Already the jests have been swirling about (mainly from Melissa, it must be said) but Grace's "just make sure your CRB form is up to date" is currently the highlight. 

Please keep the jokes coming, both Melissa and myself have come to realise that our blossoming romance is actually comedy gold, so do yo' worst!